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| Closure - Love? Doesn't exist. |
| 07.02.04 (7:23 pm) [edit] |
This is the email I sent to josh for closure.... I don't know if he read it or not.....
Well I guess this is what it has come down to. I gave you time to choose what you wanted from me, either to stick around, or leave you be. You chose for me to leave you be. I respect your choice. I guess it is understandable. Everything in the past should just become a blur then. I feel as though I'm losing something very valuable to me, but life goes on. Our friendship was great while it lasted, sure we had some really really bad times, but that was to be expected considering our history. But hey, when times get tough... give up! For the most part our relationship was fun. I'm not going to forget it, even though things would be easier if I did. Even though you will never think of me as more than just an annoying ex-girlfriend, I do care. I care enough to leave your life just so that you can be happy. Thats my all, I can't give more to you than leaving you alone. If that isn't even appreciated then it's a shame. I hope that maybe one day you will realize that I can be your friend and will just want to talk to me again. But I'm not getting my hopes up of having you as my friend. I tried, I really did, it may not seem like it to you, but if you were me you would know that I've tried my hardest. I'm not sorry that I care a lot about you, I am sorry that you hate me for it. Well, if you don't ever want to speak to me again, then this email is for closure. If you do, then this email is to let you know that I still care. I hope things work out the best for you in the future. Good luck, even though you don't need it. Take care. Love always, Crystal
p.s. Sorry for ruining your life... But thanks for putting some meaning into mine, seriously.
*sigh* Things just really suck right now. Sarah and Chris breaking up, Kat intervening... I don't understand love anymore. WE are all striving for that inevidable hurt.... Life just sucks! I want to have that feeling again. You know the one where you are loved by someone who u love loving you and despite all their faults you love them any way. Just that feeling of being able to share yourself with someone else. Someone who protects you from all the bad in the world and gives u what you need at the right time without you having to ask. Just the sense of comfort, someone who you can give your heart to.
Pfft who am i kidding, there is no such thing as that kind of love.
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